I know some of you have asked how Rachel's surgery went... well they removed an orange sized tumor from her lung. They had to remove the lower left lobe and part of the upper lobe, but not the entire lung. The tumor was cancer, as well as 2 of the 15 lymph nodes that they tested were cancerous as well. Please continue to pray for the Bramen/Braker families...my heart just aches for them!
I had a dream the other night about my Dad. It was the type of dream that I woke up from and wanted so bad to go back to sleep & feel it again! There were some strange 'twists' to it, (Sandra - your Dad was in it - playing croquet with some others in the camping group including my mom?!?) but the best part though was I was walking across the field with Dad...my arm in his like I was helping him walk his last days, but he seemed as healthy as can be! It was so wonderful, but at the same time so hard. Last night as I closed my eyes I pictured it again...I miss him SO much! It took me a long time to get to sleep. I thought about getting up to read some of his website, but finally fell asleep. Then today I saw Mom updated it last night at 11:30 something...that's when I was struggling too! Had I known she was up I would have just gone over there & cried with her! :) She's been struggling. I feel like we've been forced to move on and go, go, go ever since Dad died. Mom's house selling, having to clean-out the shed, looking for houses with her, now it looks like the business is sold...many answered prayers! But now that things are a little calmer, it's sinking in. For all of us, I think. Dad's not coming home from a business trip or from Biloxi. He's not going to come through the back door from the shed...this is what is sinking in and is so hard to accept! Thanks for letting me share...again. As a plaque in my bathroom says, find JOY in the everyday! This is what I'm trying to do. Trying to think of all the wonderful times with dad, all that he taught me, all that God blessed us with, all of the FUN times with him! And I keep thinking of a saying I once heard:
True JOY comes from putting
Jesus first,
Others second, and
Yourself last!
This is easier said than done... but when I put my selfish desires last, it truly is easier to find JOY in the everyday! And that's where I came up with my blog title: Joy in the journey. the journey I'm on as a mom, a wife, a child of Jesus! Just a reminder to myself to keep looking for that Joy!
Well, time to go get Kels from school. I wish you JOY today and always!
5 comments:
Thanks so much for sharing your dream! I love your heart though all of this. I cant imagine how difficult the days and nights can be at times. My aunt once told me "be thankful that you miss her b/c that means that you had an awesome relationship". Not everyone has/had such a neat father-daughter relationship, you are truly blessed...of course, I know you already know that : )
I love you lots!
Kristy, I just love you so much. I can not imagine what you are going thru nor can I feel what you feel. I pray though that you can feel a peace. Its got to be tough, laying awake at night thinking and wishing he were coming thru the shed door, or will return from a trip to Biloxi. But those dreams....they are so precious and so meaningful and how wonderful it actually is to have the relationship you had with your dad. That Dick...he was an amazing guy. I just keep praying for each of you. Just last night I was laying in bed and told nick" I wonder how Eric and Kristy are doing, and Cheryl and Matt...and then Ann for that matter". It got to be tough, but I keep praying that God will give you that peace to move on, but never forget. I didn't realize your mom was selling the house. I did know the business was for sale. Lots of change which Im sure is hard. Just know that we have not forgotten about you and we pray always. We love you so much. Sorry for rambling.
Kristy, I can understand your pain, loss and dreams. It takes me back over 35 years ago when my Dad died at the age of 52. I remember having dreams that he was in California (why California??) or out in the back yard in the snow and we could not get to him. I would wake up exhausted because I would be trying to get to him and could not. I was not a Christian when my Dad died. I was living a self-centered life. It took me many years to deal with that. I remember wanting so bad for my Dad to walk through the back garage door into the kitchen. I missed that so much. We ate out almost every night because my Mom had such a hard time dealing with suppertime. It was a lonely time for her because my Dad was always home promptly at 4:45 and liked to eat supper by 5:30. I think that you have to go through so much missing and so much crying. It still brings back memories and tears even though it has been so many years. I will pray for you Kristy. God is so powerful and such a Comforter. I will pray for your Mom. She is so brave and strong. I love you. Marcia
Dear Kristy,
Thank you again for sharing your heart and being so vulnerable with others. It helps to know how to pray for you.
My sister Heidi and I were just talking the other day about some of the things we used to think about after my Mom died. We both said there was a time where we actually panicked and wondered if our mom was actually not really dead but just on a trip somewhere and she was going to show up...the only thing that got us back to reality was remembering that we had seen her in a coffin. Isn't that strange?!? I think we just wanted to bad for it to not be real that we actually started thinking maybe it hadn't really happened.
Something that has comforted me in the time of mourning is that Jesus understood mourning too. I used to think the "Jesus wept" verse was kind of funny that they had put that in the Bible...but now I am so grateful that it is there! What a picture of His great compassion and understanding of loss here on earth. He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, but He still was filled with such emotion at the pain of the family's loss that He wept with them. It has comforted me many times to think that He weeps with me and that He truly understands and never tires of me telling Him how much I miss my Mom and loved her. Even if others may not always understand, He does intimately.
Love you so much,
Rebekah
Kristy, Thank you for sharing your heart. I love you and hate that I can't be there to give you a HUGE HUG but I am crying with you just a ocean hop away. Keep sharing I love seeing your heart, and I am praying for you always and forever. I hope you have a great day.
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